I Can’t Believe You’re Ghosting Me?

Ghosting; when someone with whom you’ve been communicating, suddenly and inexplicably ceases to communicate with you. Ever again.

Often from someone you’d least expect; you had a good connection, everything seemed normal, you’d spent time together, you certainly weren’t strangers.  Until now.

It’s happened to me a lot, and I can tell you – rejection hurts. Every time.

Ghosting feels particularly painful for me because it makes me feel like I don’t exist. It triggers old scars of childhood abandonment and neglect. It tells me that I don’t matter enough to be worthy of an honest conversation, a basic courtesy and respect afforded to a fellow human being. I am about on par with an annoying skin rash of the just-ignore-it-and-it-will-go-away variety.

It’s not hard to say “Sorry, I’m not feeling it” or “I’ve met someone else”. Or to make up a lie. For god’s sake, anything!

Do they do it to inflict pain? Or because they lack the courage and/or skills to communicate?

Does this happen to me more than others? Is it actually something I’m doing wrong? Or perhaps the question I should be asking is … why am I attracting this into my life right now?

What I have come to understand for certain, is that a) I have no control over other people’s behaviour, and b) other people’s behaviour is no reflection on me or my worthiness as a person.

In any case – I do appreciate the opportunity to get in touch with this particular brand of pain and address it. No really. Because it’s only through connecting with this pain that healing can begin.


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